Commitment

I recently overheard someone giving advise to a friend in regards to commitment. What she had to say hit me like a ton of bricks. Since then, I have been doing a lot of thinking on this topic. This poisonous attitude regarding the subject of commitment- or perhaps the lack thereof- is one that I have stumbled across many times before and in many different avenues. Let my rant begin...

Long story short, the girl told her friend that if she wasn't happy and getting what she thought she needed from our church, then she should just go somewhere else and try to find it. It was like something inside me instantly started screaming, "No! No! No! You have got it all wrong!". Needless to say, this little tid bit of advice has been haunting me ever since.

COMMITMENT is a noun meaning: the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.; a pledge or undertaking; an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.

It seems like every way you turn in the world today, commitment is null and void. I think this world has conformed so much to the "Have it your way" mentality, everyone has just forgotten this simple definition. When you make a commitment to a church, a spouse, etc.- you are pledging to be dedicated and faithfully "Give it your all!".  Nowhere in that definition does it say, "...until you just don't want to do it anymore or until you aren't happy anymore".

I have watched countless friends, family, and acquaintances quit coming to church on a whim simply because they don't like the way one thing or another is going. I have witnessed marriages fall apart because one or both of the spouses just weren't happy anymore. These are devastating and heartbreaking results of an important- yet forgotten- definition of a word.

Instead of basing your commitment on your level of happiness, maybe you should base your happiness on your level of commitment. I don't just passively expect my marriage to be awesome all on its own- I have to dedicate time and effort towards my husband and our relationship. I don't just show up  to church (when I feel like it) and sit in a chair and expect to have a radical encounter with God- I go with "arms high and heart abandoned", pressing in, and actively tuning in to every message the Lord might be sharing with me through the sermon, the worship, the altar call, etc.

I don't have any encouraging Bible verses to share... just my opinion and some life experience. Before calling it quits, leave your passive nature behind and try giving your commitments some active effort. 

 

You get out of it what you put into it! 

 

The Proverbs 31 Woman

While trying to focus all my efforts on my personal relationship with the Lord and becoming the woman He wants me to be, I was very excited to stumble across these lessons from Proverbs 31. Each of these points really speaks to me. They are a great reminder of what I know I should be doing as well as a few little confirmations of some things I believe the Lord has been calling me to do.

When I first came across this verse and these 7 lessons, I made myself a note and stuck it where I would read it everyday as a constant reminder. I am a firm believer that, "What goes in, WILL come out!" So, I have made it a habit of reading it daily, and God has continued to show me new things even since I first stumbled across this awesome message both as a woman of God and as a wife.

I believe that God can speak different things to people through the same passage of scripture, song, sermon, etc. So, I encourage you to read Proverbs 31 yourself and see what God shows you. If you have read it before, read it again. He may show you something new this time. Here is my take on it...

1. Be a good woman.

According to the scripture, "A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds." That sounds pretty simple to me. Rather than modeling our lives after the women in the world, let's strive to be a woman of God! Every time we turn around there is a new reality show hitting TV filled with all sorts of women, wives, and mothers. And like I said, "What goes in, WILL come out!" I watch probably too much TV and while I do pretty good filtering out the JUNK, there are still times when I have to just turn it off. Taking time to read a devotion has also helped me a ton! It kick starts my day in the right direction and leaves me pumped to keep on working towards being a "good woman".

2. Value my husband's trust.

Trust. That's a BIG one! Once it is broken, it doesn't really ever come back in entirety. I definitely value my husband's trust and have ever since we first started dating. I know that I trust him with my life and that gives me such peace and comfort. I know he is faithful to me, dedicated to me, and taking care of me. I never have to worry about a thing.

It is my job to give him that same peace and comfort by never giving him a reason to worry. I don't put myself in situations where the enemy would even have the chance to put questions in my husband's head. Even if it is- what you think might be- a harmless situation, always think about what it might look like from an outsider's perspective. Better yet, what would your husband have to say about it? Or, how would you feel if he was in the same situation?

3. Have my priorities in order.

This is probably the one point that speaks the loudest to me. It is something I have always struggled with and am working hard on getting in order now, rather than after I add anything else to the list. The order is simple... #1- God, #2- Husband, & #3 Children.

I don't have children yet, but I think it is an important reminder that your Husband should still come before them. Until recently, I don't know that I really thought about that or realized the importance of this order. I always hear people say, "My children come first.", and I probably would have said the same thing. I would imagine this is a tough one to keep straight, because I am sure that motherly instinct will kick in and I will want to put my babies before anything else.

As tough as it may be, God meant for husband and wife to have that companionship. I think we are to work together to raise up godly children, but one day those children will be grown and gone. All you are left with is your husband. If you haven't made your husband a priority for the 20+ years it takes to raise a few kiddos, then what do you think will be left of it?

This really was a BIG wake up call for me! My poor husband has been listening to me talk about wanting babies for a few years now as if he wasn't enough anymore. I think I might have even really felt that way, but this whole "priority check" has reminded me that he is one of the greatest blessings that the Lord has ever given me. I am so thankful for him. Yes, I still look forward to raising a family together and having little kiddos running around that are the perfect combination of the both of us. But, I finally have him where he should be in my priorities and have seen how great of a difference that has made in our relationship. I think it will continue to prove right in the years to come as we embark on the journey of starting a family and even as those kids grow up and we are back to just the two of us again.

4. Speak well of and be supportive of my husband.

Positivity is such an important characteristic, and it is contagious. Sometimes it is easy to only see the negative in things and pick apart all of the things you don't like about your husband (and even other things such as yourself, your life, your job, your church etc.). If we dig a little deeper, we will find the things about that person that we fell in love with. The key is to focus on those positive things and not dwell on the negatives. After a while, the negatives aren't even noticeable anymore and all that praise and support we have been giving our husband has made his positives grow even greater. Think about it, if we are constantly tearing him down- whether it be to our girlfriends or to his face- is he going to feel good about himself and about our relationship? Don't you think if we lift him up instead, he will be encouraged to do those things you praise him for more and more? I know so! Not to mention, he will probably be more likely to bounce back some of that praise and positivity your way.

5. Revere, honor, and respect my husband.

God has called the husband to be the head of the household. In that, I think we should give them the same respect and honor that we would give any leader. By honoring our husbands, I believe we are honoring God. Now, I have had times in our relationship where I tried to ignore this little lesson and justify it by thinking I was closer to God- or something crazy like that. Something I think God has spoken to me lately is... that doesn't matter. We should pray for our husbands. As long as they are not going against the word of God, we should give them that respect and honor that God called us as wives to give them. That includes letting them lead your household without us constantly butting in on their every move. God will bless that obedience on both sides and bless those moves accordingly.

6. Dress nicely and stay physically fit.

I have always been very passionate about this specific lesson. I think we should take care of our bodies- not just spiritually, but physically too. For me, this means to stay as healthy as I can by eating healthy and exercising as needed. (Disclaimer: This is easy for me to say because I have been blessed with a great metabolism and don't require much effort to maintain a healthy lifestyle.) But, I do eat pretty healthy- most of the time- and I am currently training to run a 5K at the end of this month. (EEK! I am not athletic at all!)

Beyond the health factor, one of the many things my Mom has always taught me is, "Always look your best!". This is definitely easier said than done. I like to dress nice, but I also love comfort and sometimes those sweats and T's win. We should make an effort to look nice, for ourselves and for our husbands.

7. Speak with wisdom and kindness.

My Dad has always taught me to -- "Think before you act; think before you speak.". Even though it used to annoy me as a kid to hear him say this over and over, this is such a good lesson to live by. Even when you don't realize it, people are paying attention to how you act and what you say. After all, you may be the only Jesus some people ever see.